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Catharsis

Yesterday, I finally got up to my father’s place for the first time since Shadow passed away.  Up until then, the idea of his loss had been pretty abstract for me, since I haven’t lived under the same roof with the cats for years.  As I expected, it wasn’t until I went into Shadow’s favorite closet and saw he wasn’t there, until I saw his litter box emptied out and packed away, that it finally really hit me that he was gone and I was finally able to start grieving properly.  I spent some time in that closet saying goodbye, and since then I’ve been letting myself be sad, letting it become real to me.

Just a bit before he died, we bought a new case of his special food from the Cat Clinic, and as it happens, Shadow left us just after he’d finished the last can from the old case.  So the new case was never opened.  I’ll be returning it to the clinic when I get the chance.

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