Archive for September 13, 2018

Yesterday was a good day

September 13, 2018 2 comments

I’ve been feeling pretty down for a while now, even though my fortunes have finally started to improve again. I may have some money in the bank at last and be slowly chipping away at my debts, but I’m also laboring under a tight writing deadline and struggling to make progress, and just generally having trouble shaking off the months of anxiety and depression from when things were at their roughest. But yesterday, several good, refreshing, or reassuring things happened — nothing really huge, but some welcome relief from the tension and concerns I’ve been having. By the end of the day, I felt more upbeat and relaxed than I’ve felt in quite a while.

For one thing, I’m finally getting some real momentum back on my current writing project, which I’ve been pretty far behind on (not an unusual occurrence for me, but still stressful). I’ve had several good, productive days in a row, and I’m into a part of the project where I have a clearer idea where I’m going and don’t have to figure it out on the fly, so it’s pretty satisfying to be making such progress. I’m still a little behind where I’d hoped to be, because this section is turning out to be pretty lengthy, but with luck I’ll finish no more than a day behind my desired schedule.

Tuesday night, I’d barely gotten anything done and was feeling very sleepy and useless (I made the mistake of having a peanut butter sandwich for dinner, and that tends to make me lethargic). I wanted to get something done that evening, but I didn’t want a full cup of coffee that late, so I had some hot chocolate with a little instant coffee. And it actually woke me up and got my brain working again, and I got a surprising amount of work done. And it got me thinking. A few years ago, when I first started drinking coffee, I had an amazing burst of productivity, but coffee hasn’t had the same effect later on. I realize now that the first kind of coffee I used was a mix that was half instant coffee and half powdered creamer/sugar — and at the time of that burst of productivity, I was having regular instant coffee mixed with milk and plenty of honey to mask the foul taste (since I hadn’t yet figured out the whole creamer business). So what if it was the sugar, more than the caffeine, that did the trick? Sugar is the energy source for the brain, after all. If so, that’s a dilemma, since upping my sugar intake to make my brain more active wouldn’t exactly help the rest of my body. I guess I’d need to find the right balance — and exercise more, which is something I need to do anyway.

So yesterday, in search of relatively healthy sweets, I went to the local natural foods store and bought some organic cookies. I also found that they finally had one of my favorite foods that I’d run out of too long ago — pumpkin butter, which is like apple butter but made from pumpkin, and is really yummy. It’s seasonal, so they only have it for part of the year, plus I rarely went to that store while I was broke, and thus my stockpile of pumpkin butter ran out quite a while ago. The variety they had in stock wasn’t my preferred one of the two they tend to carry, but still, I’m happy to have pumpkin butter again. Not only is it just plain good, but it helps me feel like my life is starting to get back to normal after the long period when I was flat broke.

Oh, speaking of buying things and economizing — last week after I went to the movie theater, I went to the Kroger superstore across the street from it to get a few things, and I decided on a whim to check out the superstore’s modest-sized clothing section at the far end, since I’ve been in need of some new clothes. Serendipitously, there was a clearance sale on, and I found several pairs of jeans in my size marked down nearly 80 percent, so I bought one. That evening, after I confirmed that the jeans fit, I realized that I should’ve bought more than one, given how cheap they were. So I went back the next morning and got two more pairs of jeans, plus two polo shirts at the same discount. I’m not crazy about the color of one of the shirts, but hey, I got some $200 worth of clothes (by list price, plus tax) for under $45, which is amazing.

Plus, I finally bought a new laptop battery a week or two back, which makes me feel more free to walk over to campus with my laptop and do some writing there. The change of scenery often helps me focus, and it’s something I haven’t done in a while. I think part of the reason I’ve been creatively blocked in recent months is because my lack of funds has kept me from going out much, and the repetitive setting of my apartment has left my mind unstimulated. I did take my laptop over to campus this past Saturday when my apartment building had a power failure — its second in just a few days, what with the storms we’ve been having (though the second outage was on a day of milder rain, so maybe it was a delayed reaction to the first storm) — and got a little writing done then, but it wasn’t a pleasant walk since I wasn’t really feeling up to it, and since the weather wasn’t great. But the walk I went on yesterday afternoon was much more enjoyable, both a partial cause and effect of the generally better mood I’m in now. I managed to figure out the next scene I wanted to write, and I wrote it out promptly after getting home. (Though I realized this morning that I wrote myself into a bit of a corner regarding one plot point, and I haven’t yet figured out how to fix it.)

One other thing — this past week I’ve been having problems on a couple of websites with ads or something that slowed my Firefox browser so severely I had to keep forcing it to shut down with Task Manager and starting over. I’d started using Chrome for those two sites, but yesterday morning, it happened in Chrome too — or rather, it happened when I had the site open in Chrome and tried to open a different site in Firefox while I waited. This time, though, instead of shutting Chrome down, I just waited it out to see if it would clear up, and it did. And somehow, ever since then, I’ve had no slowdown problems with those sites in either browser. It’s like whatever process was paralyzing the browsers just needed to be given the chance to finish once, and then it was all good. I dunno, I probably need to do a disk cleanup to free up some RAM or something, but this unexpected clearing up of a frustrating nuisance was one more windfall in my good day.

Oh, and then there’s the biggest load off my mind — other than my writing progress, though it relates to that. Last week I got a summons to report for jury duty in two weeks’ time — when I’m six weeks to deadline and behind schedule. Now, if things went the same way they did the last time I had jury service back in early 2009 (some months before I began this blog), where I just sat around waiting in the courthouse and never actually got into a courtroom (which is actually pretty normal for jury pool members), then it’d be a great chance to get some writing done without distractions, plus I’d literally get paid a little money just for showing up. (Last time, IIRC, I was doing a rewrite on Only Superhuman at the time, and I made significant progress during my days in the jurors’ quiet study area.) But I was afraid that if I did get called to serve on an actual jury, it might delay my writing at a time when I can’t afford any more delays. Luckily, I saw on the summons form that you get one chance in your lifetime to request a postponement of jury service, as long as it’s within 6 months of the initial date. So I requested it, and when I returned from my walk yesterday, I found a postcard in the mail saying my request was accepted. I don’t have to report until a month or so after my deadline, which should hopefully give me time for revisions and such. So that’s a bullet dodged, and a great relief. Between that and the progress I’ve made this week, I’m feeling much more optimistic about my deadline.

So all this adds up to put me in a fairly good place right now. I hope it lasts for a while.

Categories: My Fiction Tags: , ,
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